5 Really Good Reasons to Say Goodbye--To Friends, Lovers, Social Media, and Even Your Phone

Note: This piece is for introspection, you are fully responsible for all choices you make in your life.

A Brief Intro
When I was in elementary school I had to learn how to say hello and goodbye a lot. I went to 6 different elementary schools and had to hear that infamous "Hello class let's welcome our new student Diana".  Each time, I was scared to death I would not be welcomed or worse be un-welcomed. By the grace of the universe I was never treated badly or made to feel un-welcomed, but that's because I had a strategy. One I still use to day and will share at another time.

The worse part of moving around was saying goodbye to the friends I made. It was heartbreaking every time. You know what they say, with practice you get better. And I did. As a child and being an *empath, it was extra hard to detach, and even as an adult I have a very difficult time letting go of people and things when the time comes. But the time does come when it is time to move on for the greater good of all. 

I deal with a lot people in one way or the other. Again as an empath, I have to be extra self-protective. Something I learned the very hard way. I can't afford to have close and ongoing encounters with individuals who are on a significant different frequency (mismatched goals, ideologies, values) than me. How about you?

Do you know when it's time to say goodbye? As a child I didn't have a choice, I was moving. But as an adult it was a bit more vague. I felt I wanted my "bff" and be with my family/friends forever, but that isn't realistic. People and circumstances come into our lives for a reason. You may not know the reason for a long time to come, but chances are you will know and see the signs it's time to say goodbye.

1. When the greater good is no longer served, what does that mean? You know inside your mind and heart when a relationship, of work, personal or even casual is not serving the highest good:
2. When there is an ongoing, uneven exchange of energy and resources. 
3. When there is emotional, physical, spiritual depletion and damage to one or any of the parties involved.
4. When you feel frustrated, confused and fatigued dealing with the person or circumstance.
5. When you just know in the deepest level, and you do not need any logical reason.

You don't have to wait until you are so sick, upset, betrayed or experience any other negative emotion, before you move into your own peaceful space physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

The key is to move on with finesse, class and proper manners. There is no point in creating more negativity when you are trying to be in a healthier place. Many people wonder just how to do that. Here is when you use that incredible brain you were given and tap into common sense. 

Family, Friends, Acquaintances
With personal contacts it can be very sticky. Particularly family and long time friends. But it is your right to have peace, love and good things should you choose it. So you begin with creating boundaries. Oh, I guarantee you it won't be a piece of cake, but it will bring you peace eventually. You don't have to run to someone's rescue all the time. So choose if you want to continue doing this. You will have resistance so prepare yourself. But hold strong, because that will pass. There are also so many support resources you can use to do a little research and give yourself that gift.

Many people come into our lives for a reason. To share experiences with, and/or to learn lessons from. Often, we are not meant to be around the same people our whole lifetimes. This includes family. Once you understand the relationship dynamics, the lessons to be learned, and karmic implications, you can begin to decide how deeply invested you want to be. 

Romantic Relationships 
This is a topic for a separate and much more involved post/episode. But the quick of it is, that if you are in a romantic relationship, you are absolutely exchanging energy in every way. Is that energy exchange a healthy one? Only you know. Check in with your body, your mind, your circumstances at various times and see what you find. From thousands of people I've consulted with, too many are inexcusably unsatisfied with their relationship. Feeling they give too much and not receive any energy equally. 

Don't be fooled thinking, "Oh, this is just a casual fling/hookup/affair." There is no such thing in the true energy field. Most people are settling  hoping something changes or until something better comes along. They may feel pass the phase of fixing their karma or learning a lesson but still hold on. This only creates more karma debt and harsh unbalance. Choose now what you want in your most intimate relationship. Peace, bliss, pleasure, joint learning, passion, respect, joy...or conflict, illness, confusion, violence, abuse, heartbreak, loneliness (while with this person). The choice is truly yours. Begin with knowing what your patterns are, who are you typically attracted to, and why? As I said above, personal romantic relationships are very complex and this is just a snippet. There will be more on this in future posts.

Social Media
Social media is relatively new but very powerful. We meet and re-meet many people we would not otherwise do so. This includes old friends, new lovers, business colleagues, and new contacts. With other social contacts as in social media, I can personally tell you, knowing who to stay in touch with and who not to has been a complex issue. I and many others don't want to "burn bridges" or create animosity with social contacts. Yet too many folks are just takers of your information, resources, energy and offer nothing in return except an attitude of entitlement, or even playing dumb. I tell those people the following.

• Don't take it as a personal insult if I unfriend/unfollow/hide you. There is probably little that benefits us being in contact in this manner.
• Should you want to stay in touch and increase the quality of our connection, you may contact me via email, or phone and make a proposal.
• Respect my decision, simply taking from others does NOT benefit either party, yes including the taker. 

This is my personal standard: I believe in sharing resources and a paradigm of abundance, not a scarcity-based one of competition.

Your Phone, Car, House, Jewelry, Other Material Object (*not pets, they are sentient and should never be given up unless to a guardian who can better love them!)

We can get so attached to material objects we love them more than people, animals and ourselves. We can even become obsessed with these and that affects the overall quality of our lives. For that, I would definite go to a professional for help. But if you are just somewhat attached, like you really just like your phone or service but aren't satisfied with cost, plan, quality, but feel you must be loyal to it, then you have every right to shop around for something that better suits you. If it's a company, then bear in mind that it knows you as money or a number, not a person so trust me they will not take it personally.  

Basically, what I am saying is that it's all about YOU. but in good way. Giving yourself care, love, respect, and boundaries makes it possible for you to be whole. Always remembering that we are in a web of inter-connectedness regardless. But you have the choice to surround yourself with loving people and things. It's okay to give yourself permission for a life of peace. In a world that seems so chaotic, you have control, believe it or not, of your mind, brain, and spirit. Even if someone attempts to assault you, your heart, body and soul is YOURS so cherish it, love it and thank it. Let's get out of victim-hood and into power-hood. Feel empowered to walk a away from things that don't serve the highest good and make room to allow wonderful things to enter your life.

Have a question? Visit www.thisisdiana.com

*An Empath is an intuitive who in addition to expressing empathy (the ability to put oneself in another person or animals place emotionally, physically and spiritually), have abilities and characteristics that go beyond the normal senses. Empaths are extremely sensitive to their environment, people and animals. She/he literally “feel” and sense what others feel in many ways. Hence Diana received psychic information by feeling what others feel but also via visual flashes, dreams, and connecting synchronicities.

On a Quest to Bring Manners Back
With Light. Love and OM
Diana Navarro, M.S.
www.Thisisdiana.com
Psychic--Empath with a Psychology background, Radio and Video Broadcast Producer/Host, Social Commentator/Speaker, Entertainer, Consultant and features topics on Lifestyle/Manners, Humor, Entertainment, Health, The Paranormal and Causes.

Radio Show Address: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/this-is-diana
Radio Listener dial-in number: (347) 857-3160

More Contact info:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/This-Is-Diana/135169706521596?ref=hl

• Email: Dianan4839@aol.com

21 Signs Your Partner is Cheating on YOU?--How to Know Them

Caught!

As a Empath and Spiritual Coach, one of the most difficult sessions I can have is related to a person cheating on their partner. The pain of suspecting, investigating and confirming are immeasurable. The effects are devastating. But there are things you can do to be proactive and begin the healing process as soon as possible. 

What you are about to read is an excerpt of my podcast Oh No You Didn't Just Break My Heart, Now How do I Fix it Fast? That provides unconventional ways of relieving the pain of the mind, body and soul during a heartbreak. The first step however is to tune in to all your resources and learn how to learn if the cheating is actually happening. Take a deep breath, take two more. Take solace that you can get answers and healing can happen. Read and learn how being empowered with information can help in the healing process.

The Event

So, you met someone you were romantically attracted to. You had great chemistry, were getting along fabulously, and you were even having amazing sex! Everything was going along swimmingly with your partner, but then it happened—something changed. You felt a knot in your gut. The interest your partner had for you changed or diminished. But not only did it diminish; it’s now towards someone else. You lost your lover to someone else. But the key here is s/he hasn't been honest or had enough integrity to tell you about it.

It doesn’t matter if you were just dating, not fully monogamous, committed, engaged or married. When you know you are losing your partner, the feeling is undeniable. Everyone experiences these feelings slightly differently but the signs are there. There are telltale behaviors to look out for in your wayward partner. It’s important to be attuned this in order to be prepared and heal as soon as possible, bounce back and continue to live your life fully. Know that you are entitled to be loved truly and loyally.

You may feel and see the signs of losing their lover but it is still incredibly shocking when it is actually confirmed. Some people call it a “woman’s intuition” but both genders have the ability to sense the changes in their partner. In other words, intuition is gender-blind. But does knowing the signs your lover is leaving you helpful? Will it change the outcome? What’s the point if all? Why did you two even meet? And how will you deal with your partner’s change of heart? How will you deal with the betrayal? These are important questions to consider with no easy answers. It will take time and self-inquiry but the answers are there. Being aware of the signs of your lover’s wandering eye will not necessarily make it less painful but can serve as an incredible learning lesson in trusting your own intuition and finding ways of coping that are healthy for you to heal faster and remain whole.

The Signs of Cheating

There are definite changes that occur when a partner is about to leave a relationship for another lover. Some of these changes are subtle and some are more obvious. Even if we don’t know the person very long, there are things they do that signal they have lost interest in us. Sometimes the person being left behind has no clue for a while or is in denial. But then the outward signs come creeping in. Before you jump to conclusions, use common sense, do your research, communicate openly but non-confrontational with your partner and trust your intuition. There is no definite sign of losing your lover to someone else, but some of these by themselves or in combination can give you clues. It will take your partner admitting or you catching him/her in the act to have actual proof so proceed with caution and again, trust your intuition. Here are some signs and behavioral changes to consider.

1. You experience an unexplained gut instinct and sinking feeling and when you notice differences and point them out in your partner. When you do point them out your partner lashes out or denies defensively.
2.  There are sudden changes in your lovemaking—unusual increase in desire/decrease in desire/wanting to try new things in bed.
3.  Changes in frequency of communication talks much less or shows unusual interest in your activities.
4.  Asking you to suddenly change things about you or wishing things about you were different.
5.  Environmental changes in your partner’s home/office space.
6.  Changes in their fitness, eating, dressing habits.
7.  Changes in speech, sayings and social interests—especially with no reference connected to you.
8.  Your communication styles change and your partner doesn’t confide in you anymore.
9.  Becomes secretive about activities.
10.  Projection, sometimes the one about to be left is accused of a wandering eye.
11.  Strange marks, cuts, bruises in your partner’s body.
12.  Your partner starts looking for excuses to argue about random things.
13.  Unusual and extra time on their social network Facebook, Twitter, email, IM.
14.  Missing time; your partner disappears and is secretive about it.
15.  Finding Intimate apparel that wasn’t there before and isn’t yours.
16. Your partner receives gifts from either an unknown person or someone you already suspect.
17. Your partner “smells” different.
18.  Suddenly your partner has a bounce in their step, similar to the one when they met you.
19.  Asks questions related to loving more than one partner.
20.  Sudden interest in different music and social activities never discussed by you.
21.  The meaningfulness of your relationship is minimized. What was special is reduced to more of an uncommitted dating or even friendship in some cases.

You Were Left For Someone Else, Now Begin To Heal

You Will Heal

Your self-esteem has taken a huge hit, so it’s triage time. You are going to ask yourself a lot of serious questions. Why did it happen? Who is responsible? What do you do next? There are no easy or quick answers. But know this, this is a universal experience. It’s happened since the beginning of time. And although that’s no consolation, you will heal.

Give Yourself a Time Out

Even if the state of your relationship is undetermined, the feelings you will experience will be intense and stormy. The first thing to do is take a time out. As much as you may want to, do not lash out at your partner violently or whomever they left you for. It this easy? Hell no!!!! But it is necessary to have a cool head in order to make the best possible decision for you and yes, everyone involved because whether we like it or not, we are all connected.

Be Patient

You will ask yourself a thousand questions and the same question a thousand times. Be patient with yourself but do be prepared to move on at some point. In over 21 years of advising, consulting and counseling I can tell you that blaming yourself is not going to help. And being in a position to advise has not made me immune so I can speak from an experiential perspective too.

Be Honest With Yourself and the New You

Often you will feel immense humiliation and the feeling of inadequacy as a partner. You may feel your partner’s new love is sexier, hotter, smarter, more interesting than you. But this is far from the truth. The truth is no one really can predict why a lover may suddenly find someone else attractive. 

Take inventory of yourself and your relationship

Can you use this experience a golden opportunity to do something that’s actually good for you? There may be something you’ve always wanted to do for yourself and this may be the reason, albeit a painful one, to do it. This does not imply you did anything to deserve being left, but there is always room to expand and improve. So why not use this as a reason to better yourself while staying true to yourself? For instance, get a physical and see if you are healthy overall. Consider a make-over of hair, wardrobe, eating habits, social network, etc. It doesn’t have to be extreme but it should be a gift for yourself.

Re-acquaint yourself with YOU. Get to know yourself as a human, friend, and yes lover. Feel what you must feel. To ignore your feelings of betrayal, anger, shame and loss will only bite you in the behind if you don’t take the self-care time to feel them.

Seek Support But Do Move On

There comes a time when you have to lick your wounds and move on. There is a true grieving process that has to occur so again, read on the subject and see what phase you may be experiencing. It’s not linear and everyone reacts differently. Also, no one can say exactly when the right time to move on is, but you will know intuitively. If the rest of your life is being adversely affected and months have turned into a year or longer, it’s time to evaluate your situation honestly and objectively. Help yourself in anyway you can. Read books, and articles on your situation, seek counseling, attend workshops find yourself a support system if you need one. Time really does heal all wounds. Sometimes we need to do a little extra work to move the healing process along. There are so many tips, ideas, and even healthy rituals to do to make your achy heart heal faster and be the whole beautiful you, you always were, you are and will continue to be.

As a Psychic-Empath with a counseling background, I see these cases over and over again and YES I have experienced it myself. My goal is to help clients get insight as to why these experiences occur, what are the patterns and how to break free and live a joyous, fulfilling, love-filled life. Don't hesitate to get help if you need it from a professional who knows about this topic and can help you in the process of healing. 

With Light. Love and OM
Diana Navarro, M.S.
www.Thisisdiana.com
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