The following Oh No Moment Dating Posts are excerpts from Heartbreak: Know Why and Heal
An Introduction: Avoiding the "Oh No You Didn't" Moments in Finding a New Romantic Partner: Manners and Seeing the Humor in the Meeting and Dating Process
It’s hard, very hard to laugh when you’re in pain, but laughter releases hormones that counteract the pain we feel. This book wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t talk about romance with a bit of humor to help us cope with those little “oh no, you moments”.
Oh No Moments
This section in many ways is an introduction to much of the work I am doing on common sense manners versus rudeness. In the dating world, there are a lot of common sense manners missing. I see many people complaining that they are single and they don’t know why.
Now this is tricky because romance has its own timing, but we must do our part. As I said in many sections of this book, self-care is crucial. Self-care can take many forms. It means learning for the first time to love yourself. It is amazing how many people do not care enough about themselves. How in this vast universe can any one outside of you love you if you don’t know what love is from the inside? This is a question to ponder. You will appreciate the humor and recognize some of these oh no moments and have many of your own in this chapter, I am sure.
Now this is tricky because romance has its own timing, but we must do our part. As I said in many sections of this book, self-care is crucial. Self-care can take many forms. It means learning for the first time to love yourself. It is amazing how many people do not care enough about themselves. How in this vast universe can any one outside of you love you if you don’t know what love is from the inside? This is a question to ponder. You will appreciate the humor and recognize some of these oh no moments and have many of your own in this chapter, I am sure.
There will come a time when you will want to step into the dating world again. By then you will ideally have tried some of the healing exercises presented in this book and be well on your way to being whole again. Dating is very challenging. It is essential to have the health and stamina to begin the dating process.
There are so many people out there, how do you find the right match for you amidst billions of people? You have to have common sense, patience and a plan. Full disclosure, I chose to be “single” while undergoing an emotional and spiritual growth spurt.
This was a conscious, but not an easy choice. I do know what happiness is, however. I am happy alone and peaceful until the right time comes to be in lifetime relationship. I am also ready to be alone, if need be, due to my dedication to my life path with is healing and helping others heal with common sense knowledge and tools. With that said, I’ve had plenty of dating experience and know from research and clients what it’s like out there. So let’s start laughing, learning and finding good matches.
There are so many people out there, how do you find the right match for you amidst billions of people? You have to have common sense, patience and a plan. Full disclosure, I chose to be “single” while undergoing an emotional and spiritual growth spurt.
This was a conscious, but not an easy choice. I do know what happiness is, however. I am happy alone and peaceful until the right time comes to be in lifetime relationship. I am also ready to be alone, if need be, due to my dedication to my life path with is healing and helping others heal with common sense knowledge and tools. With that said, I’ve had plenty of dating experience and know from research and clients what it’s like out there. So let’s start laughing, learning and finding good matches.
I strongly suggest that before you engage actively in dating, you do your negotiable and non-negotiable list in your life contract as seen in Chapter 3 of my book listed above and make use of the scale I’ve created.
The This is Diana Dumb-ology© Scale
A Little Dumb
|
Plain Ol’ Dumb
|
Seriously?? Dumb
|
Ridiculously Dumb
|
Ludicrously-
Dangerously Dumb
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
The Dumb-ology© Scale is a way of measuring the amount of inappropriateness in certain behaviors. I simply call them “dumb” behaviors, but they can have a wide spectrum, ranging from a little annoying to outright dangerous. These include the following:
1. The lowest type of dumb behavior is attributed to simple absentmindedness and human error anyone can make. An example is slowing down suddenly while walking trying to find an address. Just say sorry and move on. These are usually harmless acts but annoying. Thise can potentially lead to more serious issues if one doesn’t become more self-aware.
2. The next level on the scale is an increase in dumbness that is pretty darn annoying. For instance, when someone is having a conversation next to you with someone in person or on the phone and is speaking unnecessarily loud. Or someone begins eating next to you a full smelly meal on a bus or train.
3. The next level gets more serious, yet can be avoided with education and awareness, e.g. I hail a cab in the city, it approaches me and someone out of nowhere takes the cab and leaves me there knowing, I was there already. You say to yourself “Seriously?” did that just happen?
4. With level 4, we are in the chronic dumbness territory. You are walking down a city street and someone passes you bumping you really hard and just keeps going. Or someone goes to the restroom and does not wash their hands, or barely wets them, touches the knob you are about to touch, yeah, lovely. You wake up a day or two later sick because you have lots of bacteria and viruses all over you. Gross but this DOES happen all the time.
5. Level 5 is where I really cringe. This is dangerous, serious, and deadly dumbness. If a forethought can be given to preventing the behavior, harm to one or many can be avoided. This is road rage, violence or anything that causes extreme harm to anyone or anything. Use the scale in your own daily observations. Compare it with others and see if you agree what a little dumb versus Ludicrously-dangerous dumb is. It might surprise you to see how differently or similarly we each think dumb behavior, in the common sense manners context is.
~Diana Navarro, M.S.
Finding the Beautiful Things in LIfe--Including Manners
Finding the Beautiful Things in LIfe--Including Manners
#bitesizehealing
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