When Dating Isn’t Going to Work Out
Whether to date again or not
Once you meet someone you like and perhaps want to date them again, the question of who is going to call whom arises. In a male/female relationship is it traditionally the male who makes the call. Of course there are exceptions depending on cultural norms at the time. And typically, it may be the male/alpha male in same sex dating. The possible scenarios are that you either want to see each other again or decide you don’t want to date and end it right there mutually and amicably. That takes communication and finesse. If you don’t want to date them again find out the best way to communicate this. Be aware some people feel rejected even if they themselves don’t want to continue dating you. How things are said matters. On the other hand, there are others who just won’t take no for an answer and are creeps. Be aware of this too.
Oh No Moment
Don’t break up with someone via text, email or social media
The exception is if there is absolutely no other option. There are cases where the person could be a bit creepy and it may be best to distance yourself slowly and carefully. Otherwise, if you have been on a few dates, it’s best to be clear in a well-mannered way that you will no longer be dating. Don’t be hurtful or abusive, it just isn’t necessary. Sometimes people just don’t click and you both have to be able to handle that once you engage in the dating scene.
Oh No Moment
The person disappears after one or more dates, what happened?
There is nothing more maddening than going on a date or two or even three times and thinking you click, then the person disappears with no explanation. As you can see, if there is clear communication from the beginning, then you both can know this is just a one date event or the possibility of more dates. But for the love of love, do not keep the person hanging. On the other hand, don’t keep asking, calling, texting, emailing or looking for a person if they don’t seem interested. If they don’t respond within a reasonable time (and that depends on the circumstances and people involved), then assume the person is not interested and move on as soon as possible. If possible try to learn from it without torturing yourself with the millions of things that could have led to this ending.
There are many reasons why people don’t respond when they don’t want to date again. Some reasons will have to be with them, some with you and other reasons with the interaction you had together. This has to be understood within your specific circumstances. Sometimes the expectations are so high that disappointment is inevitable. Other times there simply isn’t enough chemistry. I have had so many clients asking me why things didn’t work out with a particular person. I can usually tell once you hear a bit more about the circumstances. If there is something about the client that is key, I try to explore that. This can include so many different reasons, and many times we have clear cues and clues we ignore during the date or communication. It’s so crucial to learn to discern because the person usually gives some hints. Of course there are those who totally surprise you. This is where you must use your intuition to understand what is happening and how to move on from it, unscathed and with minimum damage.
Oh No Moment
Don’t bad mouth the person for little things
People are looking for different things in romantic relationships; Some are looking for the ultimate twin flame. Some are looking for flings. Some are looking for excitement and freedom to explore their sexuality. Some don’t know what they are looking for, and some are not looking at all in this area of their life. It’s crucial to have boundaries, limits and ideas of what it is you want. There are female and male predators, as well as well-meaning people looking for companionship. Do you know how to discern the difference, the warning signs of someone who can steal from you, lie to you, cheat on you, hit you, or kill you and your loved ones? Just look at the news and forensic files. Too many deaths are related to sexual/romantic relationships. Though some mentally, emotionally unstable people can go under one’s radar, it is so important to stay informed. Do a little research. Your happiness and safety are worth it. Dating and seeking love should be an exhilarating, hopeful experience, not depressing and dangerous.
Common sense, being savvy, educated, aware, balanced with caution and openness can lead to a more pleasant experience. Explore the self-healing, self-loving areas first. That way you will be better prepared to attract and receive your ideal mate.
~Diana Navarro, M.S.
Finding the Beautiful Things in LIfe--Including Manners
Finding the Beautiful Things in LIfe--Including Manners
#bitesizehealing
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